MAKING THE DREAM WORK: The Huhtanen family; "It takes a partnership with your spouse. It takes a lot of patience, communication, talking through: feelings, responsibilities, jobs, who's doing what. If you don't know what your partner's going through, and you don't know what your partner's taking care of, then you're not complementing each other."

DH: Was there any meaningful advice, that you can look back and say, "I'm really glad this person told us this,"?

MH: We got to meet a family that are still friends. She actually went on to be a BCBA and was Broden’s BCBA. He’s a general officer now. Andy and Nikki Helms were ahead of us on the journey. 

I think the one thing they both told us is, that it is okay to fight for Broden, and it was okay to buck the Army system. I think sometimes we don’t want to buck the system, but it’s okay to buck the system to take care of your child. They showed us that you could still have a successful career with a special needs child, and as I’ve gone through my career, that was some great advice.

"It is okay to fight for Broden, and it was okay to buck the Army system. I think sometimes we don't want to buck the system, but it's okay to buck the system to take care of your child."

I haven't been in the civilian world for

25 years, but I think I get a persona sometimes. I’m a leader in the army, and I’m supposed to be on this pedestal, and I’m not supposed to have all these flaws. I’ve gotten to mentor many younger families in the military. We have some great stories where Broden just brings us right back to reality. It’s great, because it allows us to stay humble, and to connect with those around us. I got my first battalion command, and we were doing a big event at our house. Broden likes to wear his favorite pair of pajama pants. When he’s done with school, those pajama pants are going on. We were so busy getting ready to host all these people at our house, that we didn’t think about the fact that Broden’s pajama pants were in the laundry in the basement. Here comes Broden

with no pants on. Broden's on a mission to go downstairs to get his pajama pants. It's "Here's Broden." I think it was just great, because as embarrassing as it was at the time, it was also a great lesson of humility. After that, people were not afraid to bring issues to us and talk to us. It was exactly what the organization needed at the time and Broden did it.

DH: What are some of the bigger challenges for you and Shelly, or for Broden?

MH: There's a couple challenges, I don't think are unique to the military. The first challenge is, I had three more combat deployments after Broden's diagnosis. Shelly and I always have to be very deliberate about what roles and responsibilities people would do. I'm out the door. Shelly takes over everything. She's running kids to therapy. We've got our older son Hayden, who's typical, so he is going to school, sports, etc. She takes on the role of mom and dad. Then all of a sudden, after six or nine months, I'm back in. I'm looking around, "What do you need me to do"? "Nothing." I feel we had some delicate negotiations there. It's life, you get