OUR JOURNEY IN CAMO SHELLY HUHTANEN

Paddle Together or Go Nowhere

To all dads out there: it takes a partnership with your spouse. You have to talk about the feelings part which is probably the hardest thing for me.

Editor's Note: In place of Shelly Huhtanen's monthly column in this issue, EP Magazine is publishing a conversation her husband Mark recorded with David Hirsch and the Special Fathers Network on their Dad to Dad Podcast (#176 aired on Nov. 18, 2021).

FAMILY UNIT: Colonel Huhtanene with wife Shelly and sons Hayden and Broden (center). "You can have a successful career in the military with a special needs child and still take care of them. Being enrolled in the EFMP program ensures that I can only get assigned places where Broden can get taken care of."

Colonel Mark Huhtanen of Columbia, SC, is a 25-year combat veteran of the US ARMY. He has served four active-duty tours, and is the father of two sons. Mark and his wife are the proud parents of Hayden (17) and Broden (15) who is non-verbal and has Autism. Serving in the military and raising a family presents unique challenges. Raising a child with special needs while serving in the military requires an extra level of dedication and additional resources, such a s those that are offered through the military's Exceptional Family Member Program, also known as EFMP. His wife, Shelly, is a mom raising two boys as well as a military spouse, which has entailed several moves. Shelly has authored a book and writes a monthly column for the Military Section of Exceptional Parent Magazine.

David Hirsch: Let's start with some background. Tell me about your family.

Mark Huhtanen: I grew up in Montana. We ended up in the small town of Hamilton, Montana. My parents retired

and reside there. My dad did 28 years in the education system. After my mother went out of teaching, she worked for the National Institute of Health where she did 20 years and retired.

DH: Your dad was a Vietnam veteran.

MH: Yes. It was four years that he served. He served a tour in Vietnam, came back, married my mother, and asked to go to Germany. The army said, "We're going to send you back to Vietnam." My father politely declined, and started his education career.

DH: Did he talk about his experience in the military when you were growing up?

MH: The older I got, the more I learned about his time. Right before I came into the military, he shared his story with me.

DH: How would you describe your relationship with your father?

MH: He was always fair and firm. I got my work ethic from him. As a child, we had chores. You didn't play until your chores were done. He modeled that and made sure all of his stuff was done before he would sit down and watch a ball game, or relax. As I hit my teenage years, some friction started, as I came into my own. He was always very supportive.