One thing I've noticed is a change is in how he likes his hair. About a month ago, Hayden was running late for school and he was putting hair product in his hair while Broden was waiting to jump in the shower. I'll never forget how intensely Broden was watching Hayden. After Broden got dressed after his shower, he came to me and said, "Hair." I had noticed that there were clumps of hair product in his hair. Broden had tried to mimic his brother by doing his hair like his big brother. As I pulled the clumps of product

out of his hair I asked, "Broden, do you want your hair like Hayden's?" After blurting out, "Yea," I told him that in the morning, if he tells me to do his hair, I can do it for him so it can look like Hayden's hair. Ever since that day, Broden will come to me and say, "Hair product" to remind me to do his hair. I like to think that this is his way of coming of age in his eyes. He knows he's getting older and he notices that if he has his hair like his brother, then maybe he'll start to feel like he's being seen as getting older.

"We'll remind ourselves that Broden is on his own journey and he will be the one to show us where that journey will take us."

It's the little things that I need to celebrate, little things that the parent with a typical child may not notice. A few weeks ago, Broden's behavioral therapist texted me and was so excited. Broden had cussed appropriately, "I'm going to use my own damn hands!" Normally, a parent would be frustrated with receiving a text such as this one, but I was ecstatic. I remember telling her, "Please let me know if he cusses again and uses other cuss words, because I know I say enough of them!" With cussing appropriately and then texting his behavioral therapist that he was bored in therapy, one might think that there are several aspects about

Broden that are quite typical. This is what makes autism so mysterious and complex. As I watch Broden grow, he knows. He knows what is happening around him. He knows there are things Hayden is doing that are things he will not get the chance to do. This is what makes being sixteen, not so sweet.

Broden at sixteen will not be testing for his driver's license. Broden didn't go to prom last night with his brother, but we'll continue to celebrate what Broden can do. We'll remind ourselves that Broden is on his own journey and he will be the one to show us where that journey will

take us. He just needs to know that where ever that journey leads, we'll be there supporting him every step of the way. •

PUZZLES & CAMO

Shelly Huhtanen is an Army wife stationed at Fort Jackson, SC. She enjoys sharing her experiences of her day-to-day life caring for her son with autism. Shelly authored Giving a Voice to the Silent Many" that encompasses many stories of raising a child with autism in the military. She also teaches Public Communication at the University of South Carolina and has contributed to EP Magazine for over 10 years.