Often they get left behind by the other kids. Grandparents can take time with them.
Be available. Grandparents can also be a blessing to the other children in the family. Having grandma and grandpa present at sporting events, fix meals and lend a hand with homework helps smooth the difficult path faced by siblings of children with disabilities. Being available for them, too, can also help prevent resentment and jealousy.
Most important, it's possible to be so consumed by the child with special needs that everything and everyone else is neglected. Appearing to show favoritism can be a problem. Siblings need to be loved also! 1
SUPPORT GROUPS FOR GRANDPARENTS
There are countless support groups for people with disabilities, as well as their parents, primary caretakers, and loved ones. Even if a given support group isn’t specifically tailored to grandparents, many of these groups welcome them. Some examples include:
- The Arc Family Support (thearc.org/what-we-do/public-policy/policy- issues/family-support): The Arc is a national nonprofit that serves people with intellectual and developmental disabilities and their families. They can refer grandparents and other family members to support groups in their area.
- Guides to forming your own support group: If you're a grandparent whose grandchild was recently diagnosed with cerebral palsy (abclawcenters.com/practice-areas/types-of-birth- injuries/cerebral-palsy) or another disability, you may be unable to find suitable support groups in your area. This guide from the Community Tool Box gives some helpful tips on how to start peer support groups. The Grandparent Autism Network also offers useful advice that is a more specific to grandparents of children with disabilities.
MEDICAL INFORMATION ON BIRTH INJURY AND CHILDHOOD DISABILITY
Grandparents may have an easier time coping with a specific diagnosis once they have a better sense of what it means. You may also want to look at online medical resources. Keep in mind that many conditions, such as cerebral palsy, are highly variable. Therefore, these resources should be approached as sources of general information and not as exact predictions of your grandchild's future.
DISABILITY RIGHTS INFORMATION
To make sure their grandchildren's rights are being protected, grandparents might want to inform themselves on disability rights. Here are a few useful organizations and pages to check out.
- American Civil Liberties Union (ACLU) (aclu.org/issues/disabili- ty-rights): The ACLU fights for the rights of all Americans, including people with disabilities. Their website provides educational resources on disability rights laws and current issues.
- Disability Rights Education and Defense Fund (DREDF)
(dredf.org): This DREDF website gives an overview of the three main federal laws protecting people with disabilities: Section 504 of the Rehabilitation Act, the Individuals with Disabilities Education Act (IDEA), and the Americans with Disabilities Act (ADA).
- What Is a Patient's Bill of Rights? Some children with disabilities spend substantial amounts of time in and out of hospitals and other medical facilities. Therefore, it is important to have an understanding of patient rights and what constitutes highquality care. This post gives a concise overview of these topics (abclawcenters.com/blog/2017/04/03/what-is-a-patient-bill-of-rights)
- Individualized Education Plans (abclawcenters.com/practice- areas/types-of-birth-injuries/signs-milestones-developmental-delays/what-is-an-individualized-education-plan-iep): Individualized education plans (IEPs) are documents that detail to what a child is entitled to in terms of special education (abclawcenters.com/resources/special-edu- cation). This topic describes the purpose of IEPs, how they are created, and what sorts of services they guarantee. Although it was written with parents and primary caretakers in mind, it may also be of interest to grandparents who want to help their adult children and grandchildren navigate the special education system.
FINANCIAL INFORMATION FOR GRANDPARENTS
Grandparents with grandchildren with disabilities may wish to financially provide support their grandkids. To learn more about how to obtain financial help for children with disabilities, check out the following resources
- Special Needs Alliance (specialneedsalliance.org/the-voice/planning- for-multiple-generations-2): Planning for Multiple Generations: This newsletter from the Special Needs Alliance includes some information on financial planning that takes into account both the needs of children with disabilities and those of older family members who might need to plan for their own future care costs.
HELPING HANDS: Grandparents with grandchildren with disabilities may wish to financially provide support their grandkids. Some grandparents may be financially able to give monetary gifts to their grandchildren, but should get guidance from a qualified advisor.