BREAK THE CYCLE : HOW TO HELP A CHILD ENGAGING IN BULLYING BEHAVIORS

Bullying behavior is common, and there are successful interventions to correct behavior. The most important thing is to deal with the behavior immediately. There are numerous ways to help your family cope with and correct bullying behavior, as well as tools and resources to help restore stability to your child's school, home and social environments. Here are some ways parents or guardians can address bullying behaviors and the underlying issues:

• Talk to your children about bullying. Begin by letting them know it is not OK.
• Be specific about what behaviors are acceptable and not acceptable. Review the list of behaviors that constitute bullying, and discuss how you would like to help them expand their skills to respond differently in future situations.
• Ask your children to describe the situations and how they feel in those circumstances that lead to the unwanted and repeated behaviors. Listen to their feelings and consider their actions and reasons for engaging in such behavior. Develop an action plan to help them develop different coping skills (www.cdc.gov/mentalhealth/stress-coping/help-children-cope/index.html).
• Teach your children to treat everyone, even those who are different, with respect and kindness. Set an example at home, but also talk about how they might have reacted differently in the situations they have experienced.
• Be open with your children when conflicts occur in your own life, and share how you’re trying to handle them with respect. Yelling, name-calling, put-downs and harsh criticism are behaviors the entire family should work to eliminate.

conversations and resolutions and help you find the resources you need. See dodea.edu/Partnership/SLO.cfm?cssearch=501416_2

• Seek help if there are relationship or domestic violence problems at home. If you feel someone is in crisis, contact the Military Crisis Line at veteranscrisisline.net/ActiveDuty.aspx Experts are available 24 hours a day. Call 800-273-8255, then press 1. Start a conversation via an online chat veteranscrisisline.net/get- help/chat or text 838255 from your mobile phone or device.

PUT A PLAN IN PLACE

• With assistance from child and youth counselors or trusted school administrators, create a plan for addressing the behavior that is specific to your child's situation. A behavior modification plan should provide structure and boundaries for specific behavior expectations, frequent involvement and discussion with parents and guardians, exploration of feelings in difficult situations and consistency of discipline and rules.
• Encourage good behavior. Positive reinforcement of appropriate behavior is more effective than negative discipline.
• Should discipline be necessary, be consistent. Attach meaningful, time-limited consequences to slip-ups in behavior. Logical, situation-specific consequences are best. If damage was done as a result of the bullying behavior, have your child provide restitution by paying for damages. If the behavior is taking place during sports or other recreational activities, have your child take a short break from participation. If logical consequences aren't practical or even feasible in a particular situation, behavioral slip-ups can be handled with a loss of privileges – from TV or video games to missing a social outing with friends.
• Consult age-appropriate child and parenting resources to better understand how you can support your child. Information and resources are available through:
  • Stopbullying.gov, a federal government website with additional reading materials and information to help prevent and address bullying behaviors, including videos and webisodes for children
  • American Academy of Child & Adolescent Psychiatry –

Bullying Resource Center aacap.org/AACAP/Families_ and_Youth/Resource_Centers/Bullying_Resource_Center/Home.aspx

• Military Kids Connect parenting resources at mili- tarykidsconnect.health.mil/Caring-for-Our-Youth/Parents
• Thrive, an online parenting-education program for parenting questions and issues for children up to age 18 at militaryonesource.mil/family-relationships/parenting-and-children/parent- ing-youth-and-teens/thrive-online-program-for-military-parents
• Bullying is a Pain in the Brain at militaryonesource.mil/prod- ucts/bullying-is-a-pain-in-the-brain-1
• How to Help a Child Being Bullied at militaryone- source.mil/family-relationships/parenting-and-children/parenting-youth-and- teens/how-to-help-a-child-being-bullied

• Monitor the bullying behavior to figure out what is triggering it. Was your child aggressive or angry? Sulky or withdrawn? Spiteful or secretive? What day and time did the behavior take place? What activities did your child engage in before the behavior worsened? How long did it take for your child to calm down and what helped? Being aware of the situations that trigger these reactions can help shape conversations with your child, other parents, professionals, teachers and administrators.

Take the time to get to know your child and to understand what may be behind the behaviors. Resources such as those available through the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention ( cdc.gov/mentalhealth/stress-coping/help-children- cope/index.html) can help you teach your child better coping and social skills so they can handle difficult situations. Talk openly with your children about bullying to help prevent reoccurrences ( cdc.gov/violenceprevention/youthviolence/bullyingresearch/fastfact.html). Share age-appropriate information with them and teach them to be aware of their behaviors.

Military OneSource can connect you with the resources and information you need to help your children heal, including child and youth counseling. Call 800-342-9646, find OCONUS dialing options or start a live chat.

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