HOW TO IDENTIFY AND ADDRESS BULLYING BEHAVIOR

WHAT IS BULLYING?

The Centers for Disease Control and Prevention defines bullying as "any unwanted aggressive behavior(s) by another youth or group of youths, who are not siblings or current dating partners, that involves an observed or perceived power imbalance and is repeated multiple times or is highly likely to be repeated."

Bullying may inflict physical, psychological, social or educational harm on the targeted youth. Bullying behaviors include:

• Teasing, name-calling and taunting
• Spreading rumors about someone or intentionally embarrassing someone in a public setting
• Hitting, kicking, tripping, punching or spitting
• Taking or damaging someone else's belongings

The real or perceived imbalance of power can result from:

• Being physically able to hurt others
• Participating in a group that outnumbers the targeted individual or group
• Being more assertive and confident to initiate the behavior or engage in sophisticated, subtle ways to make fun of someone in a way that goes unnoticed by adults
• Possessing higher social status and the ability to turn others against the target of the bullying
• Having access to embarrassing or private information

WHY CHILDREN AND TEENS ENGAGE IN BULLYING BEHAVIORS

Children engage in bullying behavior for a number of reasons.

• They may be struggling to manage strong emotions such as anger, frustration or insecurity. Unloading these emotions on another child can make the child or teen feel more important, more popular or more powerful.
• Youth may not understand that their behavior is not OK. They target those who are not like them — in looks, race, religion, social or economic standing and numerous other ways children differ from each other — because they have not learned the skills to understand how to accept differences or work out conflicts or disagreements.
• Children are copying aggressive or unkind behavior they see at home. Youth who are taunted at home — by siblings, parents or other family members and caregivers — learn that they can control others through bullying behavior.

Bullying is a behavior, not an identity. Anyone can be bullied, and anyone can engage in bullying behaviors — male or female, popular or unpopular, those doing well in school and those who are not. But new behaviors can be learned, and bullying can be curtailed or stopped.

SIGNS YOUR CHILD COULD BE BULLYING OTHERS

The following information could be helpful in determining if your children are expressing their stress in the form of bullying. Children who are bullying others often exhibit one or more of these traits:

• Are unwilling to accept responsibility for their actions and behaviors, either at home or in school
• Are quick to blame others for their problems or unwanted situations
• Lack empathy, compassion or understanding of others' feelings
• Are being bullied themselves
• Seem overly worried about their reputation or popularity or are trying to fit in with peers who engage in bullying behavior
• Want to be in control or are highly competitive in sports, academics or recreational games (while it is common for youth to be competitive in their academic or recreational pursuits, parents should be concerned if this behavior accompanies others on this list).
• Are frequently sent to the principal's office or to detention
• Do not recognize that their behavior is aggressive or believe they are just teasing or joking
• Have frequent physical or verbal fights that are fueled by frustration, anxiety, depression or the inability to control anger
• Are increasingly aggressive with parents or guardians, siblings and friends
• Hang around with individuals who bully others
• Have unexplained extra money or unfamiliar belongings in their possession

TAP INTO RESOURCES

• Equip your children with the skills necessary to cope with anger, frustration, conflict and difficult situations. Consult resources such as StopBullying.gov, which is aimed at helping children and adults deal with bullying behavior. Professionals or Military OneSource child and youth counselors (military- onesource.mil/family-relationships/parenting-and-children/parenting-youth-and- teens/child-counseling-helps-kids-develop-healthy-habits) can assist your child or teen in dealing with the behavior.
• Explore children and youth counseling services available through Military OneSource. Licensed counselors can help with changes at home, communication and relationships at home and school, and behavioral issues. You can also contact your installation's Military and Family Support Center (installations.militaryonesource.mil/?looking-for-a=program/program-ser- vice=26/focus=program) and ask to be connected to child and youth behavioral counselors near you.
• Contact your local school liaison. They can connect parents and guardians to school and district personnel to facilitate