PUZZLES & CAMO 

SHELLY HUHTANEN

No Pants, No Problem

The creativity Broden has in developing ways to communicate with us using simple gestures and actions is nothing short of genius. With the simple task of changing his attire, he has told the world he is off for the day and with a short phrase of "Ready to go," his change of scenery should change.

Even though Broden has autism with limited communication, I'm learning that he has found ways to tell me what he's thinking or what he wants by saying as little as possible or providing simple cues. He has the ability to throw political correctness out the window and does exactly what he wants to do. He doesn't worry about what other people think or what the repercussions will be if he chooses to act in a way that disregards all societal norms. In a way, I'm a little jealous. I can think of a handful of moments where I wanted to do one thing, but knew I shouldn't because it wouldn't be socially acceptable.

With home ABA therapy in full swing, Broden has been working through new programs. This means that by the end of the day, he is mentally exhausted. As he is learning to be more independent around the kitchen and answering more questions about his personal background, by the end of the day he wants to go upstairs, shut the door and be left alone to his own thoughts. The other day, as 3:30 pm was slowly approaching, Broden came downstairs from his break with his pajama pants on. In our house, they are called "Papaw pants", named after my father who is known for his comfortable indoor attire. His tutor was sur prised to see him halfdressed and looked over at me confused. "Broden, why did you put your pajamas on?" I looked over and smiled, "This is Broden's way of telling you that he is officially done for the day." She looked at him and said, "Ok. I get it. I hear you." She honored his request. I know what Broden means when he takes his pants off close to the end of an ABA session at home. He's saying, "I have put my "Papaw pants" on and that means I will no longer comply and I will not answer any more of your questions. Most important of all, I refuse to play another game of UNO with you today. Brilliant. He didn't have to say a word, yet I knew exactly what he meant.

Another Brodenism is the short phrase, "Ready to go." If I am in a long conversation with someone and Broden is done waiting, he will cut in the conversation and say, "Ready to go." It doesn't matter who I'm talking to or the subject. If I ask him to wait and he thinks I've asked too much of him, then he'll lean in very close to my face where our noses are almost touching. This time, "Ready to go" sounds a little deeper with some conviction. At that moment, I will cut off the conversation very quickly. He has me well trained.

The phrase "Ready to go" is used to communicate to me what he needs or wants in many different situations. We can be in a store shopping or at someone's house. With the phrase, "Ready to go" he trusts that I will fill in the gaps for him. If we are in the store and I hear him say the token phrase, I'll ask "Too many people?" or "We've pushed it by going to too many stores, haven't we?" He isn't thinking about the list of groceries I need to purchase for dinner, or the long list of errands that need to be completed. No, he's done and he's ready to go. I need more of this in my life and I think other people do too. There have been many times that I just wanted to stand up and say, "Ready to go" and then drive to my house and take my pants off.

Shouldn't we all have a "Papaw pants" rule? If I walk downstairs with my "Papaw pants" on in the house, everyone should know that I'm done. I need a break. Don't ask anything of me or expect me to answer any questions.

SMARTY PANTS: "Broden's tutor was surprised to see him half-dressed and looked over at me confused. 'Broden, why did you put your pajamas on?' I looked over and smiled, 'This is Broden's way of telling you that he is officially done for the day.'"

When my "Papaw pants" are off and my everyday pants are back on, I'll be available. You might say that it could get a little tricky if the doorbell rang, but remember, if I had my "Papaw pants" on I wouldn't be answering the door anyway. Everyone in the house would know that I was done for the day.

The power phrase "Ready to go" would be a huge paradigm shift in my life. I'm in a mundane conversation with someone in the store that I really do not want to partake in at the moment because frankly, I don't feel like it. Imagine the possibilities if I could just turn to that person and say, "Ready to go" and walk off. I probably would get some confused looks, but think about all the time I would save. Someone calls me and they're in talkative mood, but I'm not. I could just say, "Ready to go" and hang up. Amazing concept, but with 2nd and 3rd order effects, of course.

Broden's a smart kid. His autism has created some hurdles for him over the years and we've worked hard to help him develop coping skills. Hours and hours of hard work with tutors have helped him with creating phrases and build a vocabulary to help him express his needs and wants, but the creativity he has in developing ways to communi cate with us using simple gestures and actions is nothing short of genius. With the simple task of changing his attire, he has told the world he is off for the day and with a short phrase of "Ready to go," his change of scenery should change. No pants lead to no problems and he's "Ready to go" when his patience has run thin. With this mantra, life would make so much more sense. •

PUZZLES & CAMO

Shelly Huhtanen is an Army wife stationed at Fort Benning, GA who has a child with autism. She enjoys sharing her experiences of day-to-day life caring for her son with autism while serving as an Army spouse. She authored "Giving a Voice to the Silent Many" that encompasses many stories of raising a child with autism in the military. Shelly is passionate about autism advocacy for our military and works to bring awareness to our local legislators and command about providing better support for our military autism community, such as better health care and education.