AMERICAN ACADEMY OF DEVELOPMENTAL MEDICINE & DENTISTRY

A More Positive View of Children with Disabilities

BY H. BARRY WALDMAN, DDS, MPH, PHD, RICK RADER, MD, DHL (HON) AND STEVEN P. PERLMAN, DDS, MSCD, DHL (HON)

"A child with a disability can have some of the same positive effects on their families and make some of the same contributions as any other child." 1 

"When it comes to exploring the experiences of families raising children with disabilities, studies tend to focus on the perceived negative impact of the disability on the family. These families are commonly viewed as 'victims' who face excessive care-giving demands, emotional distress, physical and/or financial burdens and interpersonal difficulties, while the children are portrayed primarily as sources of stress and anguish…These perceptions have a major influence on today's assumptions about – and reactions to – disability, including how professionals respond to children with disabilities and how society views and responds to children at birth." 1

RAISING A CHILD WITH A DISABILITY PROVIDES FAMILY OPPORTUNITIES FOR PERSONAL GROWTH

One child commented: "Lots of people have the perception that I'm kind of slow… I want them to know that I really do know a lot about the world and what's going on, and it hasn't stopped me – having cerebral palsy, being in a wheelchair – I'm not an unaware person. I have big ambitions and a bright future. I don't want them to feel sorry for me, because I think I'm going to have a really good and interesting and fun life!" 1

CHANGING PERCEPTIONS

"Prior to the twentieth century, social attitudes reflected the view that persons with disabilities were unhealthy, defective and deviant. For centuries, society as a whole treated these people as objects of fear and pity. The prevailing attitude was that such individuals were incapable of participating in or contributing to society and that they must rely on welfare or charitable organizations… Beginning in the late 1800's, institutions were built by state and local administrative agencies to house people with developmental disabilities. These institutions were usually built on the outskirts of town. Societal attitudes fostered this segregating style of management. Unfortunately, segregating from society further stigmatizes people." 2

A multitude of legislative and judicial developments in the 20th century (culmi nating with the Americans with Disabilities Act in 1990) and general perceptions have brought about dramatic changes in societal views of individuals with disabilities. As early as 1991, a Lou Harris poll reported that 98% of individuals questioned believe that all people, regardless of one's ability, should have an opportunity to participate in mainstream society. Furthermore, there was a strong sentiment toward increased employment of persons with disabilities; in fact, 92% of those polled believed that employment of persons with disabilities would be economically beneficial to society. 2

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"I thought I would have to teach my child about the world. It turns out I have to teach the world about my child." ~ Cathy, South Africa

SELF-ESTEEM OR HOW WE VIEW OURSELVES

Our perception of ourselves may be more positive or more negative and it is not set in stone. When someone has a healthy or more positive self-esteem, he or she is able to accept themselves "as is." The challenge for a person with a disability may be viewing him or herself as a person first. A disability is only one facet of a person. Thus, for people with disabilities, it's important to allow themselves to view their disability as just one component of their life, not the only component. Another issue for people with disabilities may be dealing with discrimination and stereotyping from society. Thus, people with disabilities might place additional pressure on themselves to try to meet society's impossible standards.

Parents may provide a crucial role in shaping a child's concept of him or herself. Parents also can raise a child to be independent and successful or inadequate, incapable, and inferior. Friends and society also can powerfully influence a person's concept of them self and how their life has been affected. 3

FROM THE PARENT'S PERSPECTIVE

When parents were asked to describe the areas of their life (e.g., marriage, other children, extended family, etc.) that had been affected by their child with a disability, how their life would be different without their child, what pleases (and displeases) them about their child, they identified their children as either sources of, or reasons for:

HELPING YOUR CHILD TO DEVELOP POSITIVE SELF-ESTEEM

It's not always easy to see the strengths of your child with disabilities. "A child with special needs perceives the world in their own manner, which can cause frustration and anxiety when they realize their limitations, or don't get the results they want to achieve. This can lead to a child acting up out of anger, or create low-self-esteem. Children who are consistently forced to be an active participant in a game with our rules become despondent or develop an 'I can't' attitude, and understandably so. We need to teach children in a manner or language that they can understand with their unique abilities…" 5

YOU PROBABLY HAVE EXPERIENCED, HEARD OR READ VARIATIONS ON THESE THOUGHTS BEFORE; ESPECIALLY THE DIFFICULTIES

THE BOTTOM LINE

Yes, there are positive and negative realities for a child with disabilities, their family, friends, classmates, and eventually their employers. But always remember that these difficulties are not intentional on the part of the child, the teenager, and the adult with disabilities. Indeed, they are only children growing up.

"Motherhood is about raising and celebrating the child you have, not the child you thought you would have. It's about understanding that they are exactly the person they are supposed to be and that, if you're lucky, they just might be the teacher who turns you into the person you are supposed to be." – Joan Ryan 8•

ABOUT THE AUTHORS:

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