RELATIVE STRENGTHS: Cousins Alexa and Evren on a weekend at Grandma's house; "I actively help Evren navigate his complex care. On the other hand, Alexa has a strong heart and lungs, excellent eyesight and hearing, and even a set of powerful vocal cords like her dad's."

such as, "S-U-L-E spells I want more Goldfish please!" or one of Mark's favorites, "Put away the snowman... nickel!" She rattles off these linguistic confections masterfully, and my background in language studies helps me to appreciate these novel creations from an intellectual standpoint.

Alternatively, Alexa expresses unbridled happiness without actual words, as she makes what Mark calls happy sounds, usually quite loudly, sometimes during the day and often into the wee hours of the night. Though Alexa's happy sounds might drown out a conversation or wake us at night, they also "teach us delight in simple things, and mirth that has no bitter springs," as poet Rudyard Kipling describes it.

Alexa also uses echolalia interactively to communicate more urgent needs. For example, when Alexa speaks adamantly in a slightly monotone and staccato voice of wanting to "play in the sparkly grass," or states ominously that "the lamp is dangerous," that is her way of warning us that her anxiety is heightening rapidly. Her latest yellow light warning is "Snap that money out of the tree!"

In my observing the connections between her language and behavior, Alexa has helped me learn in a vivid way why language is so important, and to have compassion for those who don't have it. When we have abstract or symbolic language, we can think about something rather than

solely of something. With abstract thought, we are no longer limited to understanding the concrete world, or that which can be seen, heard, touch, felt or smelled through one of the five senses. Abstract thought is what enables us to access memories of our past experiences, reflect on them, and then use our reasoning to make predictions about the present and the future. We can then make sense of the ever-evolving cir

cumstances of our daily lives and respond adequately. It is no wonder then, that someone like Alexa with limited cognition or no abstract language, would perceive anything new as a possible threat to her safety, and then react to the mental and emotional chaos with fight or flight behaviors that are instinctual for survival. At times, that has involved Alexa's striking out with her hands or throwing objects, and at other times, assertive attempts to escape or avoid the unfamiliar situation. Having observed her distress on several occasions, Alexa has taught me to have compassion for anyone who cannot utilize abstract language and thought. Everyday sights and

sounds can overwhelm Alexa. While wearing noise-canceling headphones, flapping her hands, and squinting her eyes help her shut some of the input out, sensory overload is something she will always battle. Because of my love for her, I cannot help but seek to comprehend her sensory processing trials, and doing so has led me to reflect on my own trait of high sensitivity, which gave birth to a lifelong source of self-doubt and frustration.

"Alexa has modeled for me a pristine character with an absence of dark motives. She embodies unconditional love."

I think back to my childhood when I dreaded the times my mother decided it was necessary to run our 1970s brown Hoover vacuum. Its roar was so loud and harsh that it made me feel a mix I of emotional and physical stress, a distinct sort of low-grade pain. Added to the list of what makes me experience that discomfort are bright lights, like the fluorescent light fixture over my parents' kitchen sink, or even direct sunlight shining through a window. Odors that emanate from scented laundry products and deodorizing fragrances distract my thinking and trigger headaches, much to the irritation of those in my orbit who adore them. I think about how uncomfortable I feel when exposed to these stimuli and tell myself to multiply the feelings by ten. That gives me an inkling of what Alexa might be facing. In this regard, Alexa has deepened my empathy and patience for myself and for others in our unique sensitivities.