Alexa’s Gift

BY KARA AYIK

My older brother Mark and I, born just over two years apart into a military family of four, are as different as night and day. Our starkly different personalities were evident to our mother, even prenatally.

Mark was so vigorously active in the womb that he made my mother shed tears, whereas, I was so still she often grew worried and pressed on me to make me move and reassure her that I

was still viable. As adults, Mark and I share some values and our family history, but we don’t have a lot in common. Now, we are both middle-aged, and he is still active and gregarious, and I am still quiet and reserved. We travel in different social circles and have different standards of living. But despite our nearly polar opposite personas, my brother and I have something in common that has shaped our adult lives, albeit from different lenses. That is the exceptional parenting experience.

Mark’s firstborn, his daughter Alexa, who is now 19 years old, lives with autism, ADHD, and intellectual disabilities. She requires round-the-clock supervision, and at times, abundant

GOING WITH THE FLOW: Alexa enjoys rafting down the American River in Sacramento; "Alexa has deepened my empathy and patience for myself and for others in our unique sensitivities."