3. PASSING OVER GREATER CONTROL TO YOUR CHILD

At the other end of the continuum is the option of letting your child have complete control over their finances. This can be a worrying prospect for any parent, but do remember that our children are frequently more capable than we imagine, and safety nets and plans can be put in place to help. Fixed expenses can often be managed by your child when you establish a workable system to control them, and many young adults are capable of working within clearly defined rules, if the purpose and rationale are explained to them in advance.

While this is a huge milestone in the maturity of your child, this handover also signifies more. It is the start of you separating your finances from theirs.

When they are a child, their finances could be visually represented like this:

You have control over their financial affairs. You control income and manage all expenses like: housing, utility bills, clothing, food, and leisure. They have a small amount of control within this, possibly with only their pocket money to spend.

As they get older, they may take on a greater degree of financial control. This might look something like this:

Here they have taken over most aspects of their finances, from paying for housing to utility costs, from clothing to leisure spending, and all else in between. They are by far the biggest financial player, but you may still have control, perhaps via a trust and the assets you have put in the trust. Your protective ring encloses their circle of control, however large it might be.

The size of the circle in the middle may vary from person to person. For example, a trust might pay their utility bills and housing costs, while they control all other aspects of their spending. The logic behind this could be to ensure they always have a home with the heating and lights on. The inner circle may be significantly smaller if their ability to manage their finances is more restricted. But it should always be as large as can be safely managed. When you are considering options, you want to ask how large that inner circle can safely be made. How much financial independence should we give them while, at the same time, maintaining their financial security?

The Financial line is slightly different from the other lines, because so much of it is within your direct control. The more deeply you plan and organise, the greater the beneficial effect. The thing that sometimes stops people thinking about this, however, is that it relies on us thinking about our mortality. We need to make decisions about how their finances will work long after we have died, and we also need to make plans for our own finances in our will. This can be difficult.

"A life plan will enable your child to live their best life – to prioritise what's important for them, to consider what will give them a happy life, a sense of purpose and Thieir Control meaning, pride and self-respect, and a greater feeling of being independent, autonomous people."

A life plan will enable your child to live their best life. Time has been taken to plan and prioritise what’s important for them, to consider what will give them a happy life, what will give them a sense of purpose and meaning, what will give them pride and self-respect, and what will give them a greater feeling of being independent, autonomous people.•

ABOUT THE AUTHOR:

Graham Caldow's mission is to help parents of children and young adults with additional needs answer the question: "What's next for my child?" As the parent of a young adult with additional needs himself, his ultimate goal is to ensure they are financially secure and live with dignity. Through his new book What's Possible?, Graham is dedicated to helping other parents and guardians support their own young adults with additional needs through bespoke life plans, covering topics such as finances, building a community, developing independence skills and living with purpose. This is an adapted extract from What's Possible? Plan a Better Future for Your Child with Additional Needs. amazon.com/Whats-Possible-better-future-additional/dp/B0CJLMV4B2