Mind over matter is a popular saying. I like to say, "You can't always change the situation, but you can always change how you think and feel about it." Psychiatrist Aaron Beck, the father of cognitive behavioral psychology, is credited with developing theories of how changing your cognitions or thoughts can change your feelings and behaviors. A simple way to understand this is to think of a situation.

Example: Tomorrow, it is going to snow. That is the situation. Now identify the first thought that pops into your mind. For some, the automatic response would be, "No, I hate snow! Why do I live in New England?" These negative cognitions then influence your feelings, leading you to feel frustrated, disappointed, or annoyed. These feelings then in turn affect your behaviors and how you act. If you do not want to feel upset about the snow and let it ruin the day for you and others around you, you need to change your thoughts.

The easiest way to change how you feel about a situation is to use positive thinking. So, what could you say to yourself that would lead you down a more positive path? Instead of thinking "No, I hate snow! Why do I live in New England?" You could say, "If it snows it will be a good day to clean the house." Or, "The snow does look pretty when it falls, and it would be nice to have a relaxing day at home." If you change your automatic thought to a more positive one, it will then change how you feel and how you behave. Instead of being frustrated, disappointed, and annoyed, you might feel more relaxed and content. Your feelings will then help you behave less irritated, and you will be less irritable. It is going to snow whether you want it to or not, so

you might as well make the most of it and try to be positive.

Now, I know positive thinking appears to be much easier said than done, but you have to commit to it and repeat those positive thoughts to yourself. You may not believe the thoughts, but it is important that you continue to use positive thinking. When you replace your negative thoughts with positive thoughts, you create new pathways in your brain… new, more positive pathways that in time will become your automatic way of responding and thinking.

Why is maintaining a positive outlook on life so difficult for some and easier for others? Both nature and nurture play a role, but what happens when your brain has been trained to automatically respond to situations in a cautious, negative manner? That is exactly what happens to individuals who are constantly put in high-risk situations that often come down to making life or death decisions. Being in stressful situations has an impact on the way the brain is wired. Research shows that traumatic stress can be associated with lasting changes in the brain. This means that being exposed to a traumatic event can alter your brain's pathways. This can be extremely beneficial when you are on a battlefield, but can have detrimental effects on your everyday life after your service.

Most people find it doable – even relatively easy – to use positive thinking when it comes to finding the good in a potential snowstorm. But what happens when your brain is trained in a different way? The brains of individuals in the military have been conditioned to always plan for the worst-case scenario, to always be alert and to react without thinking. Active military

RIDING THE WAVES: Embracing situations with an optimistic mindset will give you greater control and lead to deeper understanding.