UNBREAKABLE BOND: The author with her dad, prestroke, in one of her all-time favorite photos. "Like always,we were having a blast playing around. Just years later his hospital bed would sit right where he's standing."
I peeled off a sticker of a puppy and placed it on an eggshell-colored helmet. Then, my younger sister, Jasmine did the same. We listened to the music we love on the way to the hospital, still sharing giggles in the backseat. It's 2010 and the way Jasmine and I bonded is vastly different, compared to the way it was just months prior.
On February 20th 2010, my father, Gary Jenkins suffered a massive stroke. He was only 51 years old, It happened 20 days before his 52nd birthday. A father, husband, son, brother, and friend… and now a warrior. My dad is the type of man who was meant to have kids, especially daughters. He has always taken such immense pride in being a father. Growing up, we would spend hours outside riding bikes or seeking out the next adventure. But on February 20th, everything changed.
I sat down with my dad recently and asked him some questions about his stroke journey, and he kindly shared his story.
My dad had his stroke while home alone. His body gave out and he slammed his head on the kitchen floor. He laid there, paralyzed, for over two hours before my mom, sister and I arrived back at the house. The EMTs came and began urgently pulling him out of our home. Then, he was airlifted from one hospital to another in Trenton, where he had immediate brain surgery. To this day, numerous doctors have told my family that his case is a miracle, that it was nearly impossible for him to survive.
"It happened so quickly," My dad begins, reflecting on that night. "My body shut off, I felt like Mike Tyson gave me an uppercut. I looked up at the wall and could only think 'Is this what a stroke feels
like?'" He says that at first, he didn't realize he was paralyzed. It took a few seconds for what was happening to really sink in.
When I was finally able to see my dad again, for the first time after his stroke, it was pretty scary. I was nine years old and my sister was only four. My dad’s left arm and leg were completely paralyzed. He was in a dark hospital room with lights that flickered, and machines that made terrifying noises. He had a dent in his head where the doctors had done the craniectomy procedure. However, as I glanced at my mom and sister, I realized that it was no time to be weak or live in fear. We were still a family, and I was more grateful for that than anything.
"I REALIZED THAT IT WAS NO TIME TO BE WEAK OR LIVE IN FEAR. WE WERE STILL A FAMILY, AND I WAS MORE GRATEFUL FOR THAT THAN ANYTHING."
Soon, Jasmine and I were handing my dad his sticker-covered helmet. He, of course, absolutely loved it and wore it proudly, until it was safe enough to continue on without a helmet. He spent months in physical therapy and speech therapy. Soon, his words were not as slurred and his lips weren’t drooping as much. One day, while my mom was there by his bedside, he wiggled one of his left toes for the first time. This was an incredible accomplishment!
My dad was never the parent to miss any sport or event I was part of, until he had no choice. I was in a musical at my elementary school, but he was not able to attend. After my performance, I