KEEPING THE BEST: USMC Veteran Sarah Plummer Taylor with her husband and two daughters; when raising children, it is our job as parents to teach our children to identify and appropriately express our full range of emotions. Sarah wrote the afterword to The Resileint Warrior.
situations, and a service member being unskilled could have life or death consequences for themselves or others. It is the nature of the job.
When it comes to our family, it is important to consider the difference in context between training for a warzone and parenting. Setting high expectations communicates to your children that you believe in them and that they can accomplish great things. However, it is especially important that the expectations placed upon them are developmentally and individually appropriate.
Consider your children's age, as well as their unique strengths and struggles while keeping in mind that no one can be great at everything. When you set expectations unrealistically high, you are setting your child up for failure which could have negative consequences on their self-esteem.
Teamwork: The military is composed of many teams. Missions can only be successfully completed through effective teamwork. Teamwork means that each person on a team (or in a family) is important and makes meaningful contributions. When one member of the team is successful, we all celebrate that success. When one member of the team is struggling, we rally around to support them.
Teaching children to work together as a team can set them up for success in school, with peers, and in adulthood. Building teamwork in families works best when parents can
balance this value with also spending time and showing affection for each of their children individually. Give it your all.
Military training teaches you that when you set out to accomplish a goal, you give it your all – you do not do things halfway. In a military mission, a service member may go as far as injuring themselves to complete the mission for the sake of the team. This goes back to teamwork – each member of the team is important. On military missions, one person not completing a task can have dire consequences for others.
Like high expectations, it is important to keep the context of the environment in mind when teaching perseverance to your children. There is an important difference between completing a task at war and, for example, not dropping an AP class or finishing a soccer game.
Teaching integrity can help a child build self-esteem and strength as they accomplish difficult goals and are praised for "putting in their all." Yet, when it comes to children's developing minds and bodies, it is important to recognize that it is possible to push a child too hard, leading to injury (for a physical task) and unhelpful, distressing anxiety or self-criticism.
Vigilance: It's common military saying: "Stay alert, stay alive." In combat, vigilance is essential. Service members live in extremely dangerous environments in which an enemy is out to harm them. There are, of course, dangers that children