vertically." My dad grabbed his phone and took a picture of the plate, "Yep, I'm going to send this picture to your mom so she knows exactly how he likes it." My mom took a look at the picture and nodded, "Got it. I can do this in the morning."
My dad followed me into Broden’s room when it was time to start getting him up in the morning. “Sometimes he doesn’t want to get up right away, so you have to rub his back and pull his blankets off of him. If that doesn’t work, turn on the hall light.” My dad nodded while he observed as Broden slowly rolled out of bed. After I grabbed Broden’s robe to head with Broden into his bathroom to give him a shower, I threw on some shorts and a tshirt, “Dad, stick your head in the shower and watch how I do this. His shower is also a ritual. He likes the showerhead to be at a certain setting and he uses a certain type of shampoo and facewash.” As I talked through each step of the shower process, I could see my dad watching very intently to make sure he did each step the way Broden wanted to be showered.
My parents smiled and said, "This is what we do. We're here when you need us and we're going to be just fine."
Once Broden was dressed and had eaten his breakfast, I showed my parents how I pack his backpack for the day. We jumped into the car to head downtown to the Unumb Center. The traffic was hairy, "Dad, you can't leave after 8:10 am or you'll be late. Call them if you think you're running behind so they can look for our car from the door." My dad took note of it on his notepad, and continued to watch intently so he knew the route that I always take in the morning, "Shelly, why did you take a right? Don't you go straight to Bull Street?" I realized that months ago I started taking a right on Harden Street to avoid the intersection on Bull Street. "Sorry Dad, you're right. This route is a little faster and not as stressful, so once you see Allen University, turn right." My dad nodded and took note of the difference.
After dropping Broden off and heading home, I continued to answer any questions my parents had about Broden’s routine. I realized that our mornings and evenings were filled with trivial rituals, “For dessert, Broden likes a bowl with a few gummies, and he wants a popsicle cut off from the wooden stick. The popsicle pieces need to lay in the bowl next to his gummies, but he doesn’t get upset if they touch.” I actually started rolling my eyes after listening to what was coming out of my mouth. Mark and I conduct these rituals each day and don’t even give it a second thought.
I sat back and pulled my legs on the couch to get comfortable, as my parents sat on the other couch in front of me,
"Thank you so much for doing this. I'm realizing how much detail you need to care for Broden, now that I talk through the schedule with you." They smiled and said, "This is what we do. We're here when you need us and we're going to be just fine." These are the moments when you can't seem to find a way to show your parents how much you appreciate them. All you can do is continue to show your children the same unconditional love that your parents have shown you. •
PUZZLES & CAMO
Shelly Huhtanen is an Army wife stationed at Fort Jackson, SC. She enjoys sharing her experiences of her day-to-day life caring for her son with autism. Shelly authored Giving a Voice to the Silent Many that encompasses many stories of raising a child with autism in the military. She also teaches Public Communication at the University of South Carolina and has contributed to EP Magazine for over 10 years.