Waiting for the View

When times are hard, I'm reminded that I'm living in a valley, but if I keep going and push through, I will soon experience a peak again.

There are good days and there are bad ones. Sometimes, the bad days can start to outweigh the good ones for a while. For the past few weeks, our schedules have been unrealistic at times and we have not given ourselves enough time to take a deep breath. Operating at this pace can take a toll on us and Broden is usually the one that signals us that we need to jump off the highway of craziness and regroup. Last week was one of those times.

Hayden has been in college away from us for about six weeks. The university sent us an invitation to parents' weekend, "Mark, we should do this! Let's drive over to Alabama and see Hayden." Mark looked over at Broden sitting at the table eating his dinner, "Are you sure? We have a lot going on and we are adding more respite hours per month. This is a lot of change." I remembered giving Mark the look of "don't rain on my parade" and "it's in your best interest to agree with me." Mark took a deep breath and nodded his head in agreement, "Looks like we're headed to Alabama at the end of September."

I was so excited. The plan was to see Hayden for the weekend and then he was going to fly to see us for the next weekend. I was going to get some extra time with my oldest kiddo. What could go wrong? We've been doing so well with our weekend outings and Broden has been acclimating to his respite providers. This trip was going to be a success. I could feel it.

On the morning of our drive to Alabama, I showed Broden the calendar, "We're going to eat breakfast, pack the car, and then drive to Huntsville. Broden leaned into the calendar and read the schedule intently. That weekend, Hurricane Ian was just leaving Florida after wreaking havoc across the state and was now in Charleston. We were going to drive west

and hopefully avoid most of Ian's wrath. Stress was already high because we had no idea what was in store for us on the first leg of the trip.

As I was packing the cooler in the kitchen, I heard Broden crying in his

room. Mark ran across the hall to see what was wrong, "Broden, we still have to pack the car. I promise we will leave soon." Broden grew more upset and Mark started to witness some SIB (self-injurious behavior), "Shelly, get up here. I need your help." I ran up the stairs and walked into Broden's bedroom. He was hysterical. Mark and I worked together to try and calm Broden down, "What's wrong? Do you hurt? Are you mad?" He kept saying, "Hospital." Then we started asking, "Where does it hurt? Show us. Point to what hurts." He pointed to his stomach crying. At first, I panicked, "Let's take him to the ER. Maybe he's sick." Then I took a deep breath and thought through it. He kept glancing over to the calendar.

I walked over to the office and grabbed a piece of paper and wrote on the left side “hospital to see doctor” and then on the right side of the paper I wrote “Huntsville to see Hayden.” Broden looked at the paper and pointed to the right side, “Go to Hayden.” I looked up at Mark and said, “We need to get moving.” We brought Broden down to the kitchen nook for him to eat a snack while I packed the cooler, and then he started crying again and said, “Red.” I looked over and Broden’s shirt and hands were covered in blood. He had a bloody

NEW POINT OF VIEW: "Broden looked at the paper with his choices and pointed to the right side, 'Go to Hayden.' I looked up at Mark and said, 'We need to get moving.'"