MY CHILD'S NAME IS NOT LIABILITY
BY LAURA GEORGE
"It is my job to disturb the comfortable and comfort the disturbed."
~ Steven W. Godby, Honors Professor, Broward Community College, 2001
It is nearly 20 years since I heard that statement from my ethics professor on the first day of class, yet it has left a permanent mark on me and how I look at things in life. The statement above is both disturbing and comforting. You, obviously, have chosen to continue reading this article as it relates to the title because of one of two reasons: you are upset by it, or you would like some comfort as a result of some familiarity with it. That said, I ask that you open your mind and place yourself either in the child's or parent's shoes and think of how you feel about the name "Liability" in place of your given birth name. If you are uncomfortable, then I hope that this essay brings you some comfort.
As a society, we have been taught that a human is a non-animal concept with the ability to demonstrate qualities that are unique to being a human, such as intelligence, the ability to speak, demonstrate emotion, and be curious. Based upon the composition of those qualities and other determining factors, society then applies a given term; a name, to describe that human. What many seem to forget is that exceptional children have those qualities too. They, too, are humans with given names. In fact, as loving parents, many of us consider our children to be super humans with super amazing strength.
And that is why we cry. Confused? There is so much love for our children because we know every word, sound, smell, touch, and item looked at, that our exceptional child has experienced in climbing over that over the next stage in life. We know how they had to enter life, take their first special steps (talking, walking, etc.), watch as they gave us their first handmade art projects and other momentous events. They accomplished all of that while attending the multitudes of medical appointments, school appointments, and all the while enduring critical and judgmental thinking from everyone they know.
The term liability may have been placed upon PERSON FIRST POWER: Many of us consider our exceptional children to be super humans with super amazing strength. your child by people who take care of your child's education, medical care, sports/art/music programs,
relatives (or other people), and stated directly to us, because they may have felt that we do not understand the gravity of the situation. We apparently do not understand that our children cannot do the things other children do, and therefore they are no longer human because they can easily become a problem in today's litigious society and cost money to the bottom line.
By applying the term liability to the exceptional child, it is implied that the young human (biologically ours or not) is not a human. In fact, the term liability makes them:
- A contract for inappropriate behavior,
- a legal document to negate a lawsuit,
- an expenditure for equipment or technology to include them in mainstream society,
- a cost figure to be included in a spreadsheet,
- a tool to be used for research and development that needs profitable marketing,
- a purchasable product with an allotted risk factor margin for breakage or harm,
- a mandated way of life that our exceptional child has to perform or reach, or they will not be rewarded ("We do not like it when our children cannot sit still"),
- a pre-measured item of how well they do not behave, versus how well they do behave,
- a robot with artificial intelligence devoid of human attributes,
- an example of economic prowess.
PERSON FIRST POWER: Many of us consider our exceptional children to be super humans with super amazing strength.
Obviously, the list can be much longer, and with more specific examples that have been heard on a regular basis. If you think this list is outlandish, then you have had the good fortune of never experiencing being treated as less than human. But for those of you who have heard these phrases (and more detailed than the generalized list noted above), you have sadly experienced and watched as your exceptional child was reduced in words, from human to non-human.
Even with my own daughter, I have heard the phrase, "Of course your daughter cannot do that! She's a liability!" My response is always the same. "Her name is not Liability!