PUZZLES & CAMO
SHELLY HUHTANEN
This Too Shall Pass
As I sit on my couch next to my snoring rescue dog, and as my son's ABA therapist gathers her things for the day, I'm reminded that I need to be grateful for good friends, supportive family, and flexible ABA services for my son.
With no end in sight to the pandemic, I admit I've almost forgotten what my life was like before it all happened. All I know is that we've made it to May and April in a discombobulated blob of denial, frustration and adjustment. I would be lying if I said that I haven't spent time in my master bathroom quietly crying because I don't know what normal looks like anymore. Is this our new normal? If it is, I realized I needed to come to terms with it and focus on moving forward.
My son is still receiving in-home ABA services since the clinic has temporarily closed due to COVID-19. This is the first time we have ever had in-home services. Broden has always received services in a clinical setting since he was two years old. It is definitely quite an adjustment having someone who is not in your family come to your home every day to work with one child, while you and your other child are at home as well. Over the course of the six weeks, we've had to learn to coexist and I've had to learn to be more honest with myself. Setting boundaries is healthy and voicing my need for more defined boundaries in my home while my son receives therapy does not make me a bad mom. I'm a mom who is a realist and understands that if I'm going to make it through this home therapy period in one piece, I need to be able to do what I need to do and support what my children need to do as well. This is a lesson I've had to learn through this quarantine mess.
The college course I'm teaching online is coming to an end and I've already started to understand that I will need to find other things to fill my day that will be my own. Between helping my oldest with school work and reminding him to spend more time outside to get fresh air, and keeping abreast of my youngest son's in-home ABA program, I still had enough time to have the craziest idea of adopting a rescue dog. I know. Adopting a rescue dog during this insane time is like sitting in an idling car on the edge of a cliff and slamming my foot on the gas. What was I thinking?
Our rescue dog is named Jack and I have never seen a dog destroy a decorative pillow as fast has he can. He has the worst gas out of all of us combined and he snores louder than my husband. I never knew I could find any living thing that could accomplish that feat. The one thing he has going for him is that he is the cutest thing and there is an overpowering need to save him because he's had such a hard life. I remind myself of that fact as I scrub his urine out of my light cream rug.
One thing is certain – taking care of needy animals helps distract me from the idea that I have not seen my family in Texas for quite a while. Being away from them for so long has been difficult, and not being allowed to see them due to flights cancelled is almost unbearable. Every year, my family goes to the beach and, at this time, I'm getting more nervous as the date approaches. I'm not prepared to say that our annual beach trip could be cancelled, but as time creeps on, I'm wondering if this will soon be another event down the COVID-19 drain. I still remain hopeful as I stock up on sunscreen.
Even though daily schedules have changed, and fancy designer face masks are now in style, there is one thing that remains true. We are not alone, even though we may feel it at times. Earlier today, one of my neighbors texted me, "Can you come outside? We are social distancing with face masks out front in our cul de sac." Hayden scurried downstairs to watch Jack so he wouldn't eat our couch, and I grabbed my flip flops to run out the door. I hadn't seen one neighbor of mine in almost a month. For about 30 minutes, we were able to see each other and share stories of how we were making it through. They reminded me how much I miss seeing them, but social-distancing rendezvous may be the only way I can see them for a while.
As I sit on my couch next to my snoring rescue dog, and as my son's ABA therapist gathers her things for the day, I'm reminded that I need to be grateful for good friends, supportive family, and flexible ABA services for my son. By staying true to myself and ensuring I have boundaries , hopefully I'll be able to appreciate the good stuff during this quarantine craziness and spend time with the people I care about and love.
I want to look back and know that when there were challenges, I was able to look within and find the positive, as opposed to drowning in the negative. This pandemic has created a new normal for all of us and we'll need to dig deep and find a way through it. In the words of someone trying to pass a kidney stone, this too shall pass.•
PUZZLES & CAMO Shelly Huhtanen is an Army wife stationed at Fort Benning, GA who has a child with autism. She enjoys sharing her experiences of day-to-day life caring for her son with autism while serving as an Army spouse. She authored "Giving a Voice to the Silent Many" that encompasses many stories of raising a child with autism in the military. Shelly is passionate about autism advocacy for our military and works to bring awareness to our local legislators and command about providing better support for our military autism community, such as better health care and education.