MILITARY LIFE

BY ANGELA SHAW

Military service men and women have an ultimate responsibility of protecting and serving the people within our nation. Military-connected parents carry a dual responsibility of caring for their family—and our nation's populace. Military families are charged with balancing the challenges of the military lifestyle and responsibilities, in addition to the regular day-to-day, year-to-year, and decade-to-decade family and life experiences that civilian families face. Safeguarding the children of our military service members is one important way we, as citizens, can demonstrate gratitude, respect and honor to those who serve.

The foundation of military life is one of perseverance, adventure, and service to country. When families have a child with special needs, many typical activities of family life take on added complexity requiring a creative and flexible mindset. Our service men and women, along with their families, are up to the challenges of change and thinking out of the box—as they receive new orders that move them to new and different regions, hundreds and even thousands of miles from the support and love of their extended family, friends, and hometowns.

In addition to frequent relocations and international moves, service members and their families experience wartime deployment and its consequences, as well as numerous separations other than war. Nevertheless, military families touched by special needs, may discover that the journey of support, when meeting the challenges of their child's special need, can be fraught with hurdles and seeming roadblocks never before imagined. Whether the family is brand-new to a child's diagnosis or is a time-wizened veteran, raising a child with special needs, without doubt, adds an extra layer of challenge for military families.

As military parents wind their way through the emotional ups-and-downs of raising a child with special needs, remembering that they are their child's most prized advocate is critical. Therefore, staying the course by caring for themselves along with their child is essential. Enhancing knowledge about their child's unique needs and about the resources and tools necessary to support their child are the pathway that will serve to build parental resilience. Balance is an essential component in that journey.

As the family moves and grows, a practical solution is building a network of support along the way through creating a digital or hard copy notebook containing organizations, people, and notations of what has worked along the way. Creating this historical binder will provide the insight needed, as arrival at a new duty station yields changes in conditions, availability of services and support personnel. As you march purposefully through this journey, remember these proactive and collaborative tips: • Share your child's history and ideas with the support team. • Build positive relationships along the way • Listen with an open mind to new ideas. • Ask questions.

Partnership between parents and those within the intertwined fields of medicine and education are essential components of a comprehensive system of support. Villaging up to support the military-connected child with special needs, encourages a comprehensive and open communication system that yields opportunities to proactively blend the expertise and experience of the healthcare and/or education professionals with the resourceful and unique voice of the parent. This powerful combination is just the spark to ignite and unite the creative juices of the professional and the parental caregiving team, in order to create an appropriately ambitious program that meets the unique needs of the child.

Educating oneself about a child's unique need is vital to bridging the gap between parent and professional. Discovering as much as possible about how to support a child with special needs, as well as keeping one's self strong and positive will go a long way toward increasing productivity, quality of life, and endeavoring upon a growth mindset. Remain calm and solutionfocused through the processes of collaboration and initial phases of discovery. Oftentimes, best decisions develop when stepping back and mentally considering all options, in order to gain the perspective needed to plan constructively in a cooperative approach. A proactive beginning can be established through recommendations, summarized below, shared by special needs mom and blogger Alethea Mshar, relative to six ways to cope with a difficult diagnosis for your child (2017):

1. The diagnosis does not change who your child is. Rather this information can serve to empower the family through a deeper understanding and discovery of therapies or strategies specific to the child's needs. 2. Seek out a community of people to meet your needs. 3. Confide in a friend who has enough distance from the situation that their grief will not distract them from providing you the encouragement and strength you need to cope with a diagnosis that you are struggling to accept. 4. Allow yourself to grieve. Accept and acknowledge your strong emotions. Realize that it is normal to go through, and even cycle back through the stages of grief, to include sadness, anger, denial and bargaining before accepting the reality of the news. unique need is vital to bridging the gap between parent and professional. Discovering as much as possible about how to support a child with special needs, as well as keeping one's self strong and positive will go a long way toward increasing productivity, quality of life, and endeavoring upon a growth mindset. Remain calm and solution-focused through the processes of collaboration and initial phases of discovery. Oftentimes, best decisions develop when stepping back and mentally considering all options, in order to gain the perspective needed to plan constructively in a 5. Get organized or make plans. Moving forward, restore your sense of power in a chaotic situation, in order to help you process and make sense of things. 6. Ask questions. Getting information from reliable sources can foster a sense of power through gaining knowledge and understanding.

Many children with special needs depend on a highly structured routine. According to the DoDEA (All About DoDEA Educational Partnership), military-connected children move up to three times more often than their civilian cousins do. In fact, on average, they move six to nine times between kindergarten and high school (DoDEA), causing their schedule to be interrupted much more often by major change of family relocation than children with special needs who are not military-connected. Fortunately, Military installations can support parents with the technical realities of the move. Military-specific websites provide a robust assortment of supports to assist with connecting to school liaisons at the new destination, as well as opportunities to review initiatives created to support our military-connected children with special needs. It is essential to plan ahead, in order to mitigate your child's anxiety and support them and provide a smooth transition to their new community. Following some of these steps will pave a smoother road on this journey: With your child: • Talk positively about the changes ahead. • Keep a calendar tailored to your child's unique need. Track the days and weeks together, as the change approaches. • Share photographs and digital images of the new location. • Together create a list and itinerary of ten places to explore when you arrive. With professionals: • Within an appropriate time line, let your child's teachers, physicians, therapists and other care-giving professionals that work with your child know that you are moving. • Request copies of all evaluations, assessments, reports, IEPs and related school documents. • Send copies of all records to your child's new school. • Connect with new teachers, case carrier and/or related service providers, in order to begin proactively building a collaborating partnership within your child's learning community. • Request copies of any medical records needed for the transition. • Request referrals to physicians in your new location. • Do NOT pack medical or educational records. Keep all records with you throughout the move. In addition to our nation's special education law entitled The Individuals with Disabilities Education Act (IDEA), military-connected families have a robust range of resources available to them within their branch of service. Discover some of these opportunities through the quick snapshot presented below. These summaries contain an examination of three military-specific resources designed to support the military family touched by special needs as they maneuver through the perpetual shifts characteristic to military life.

ROBUST RESOURCES: A SNAPSHOT

Military-connected families have a robust range of resources available to them within their branch of service. These summaries contain an examination of three military-specific resources designed to support the military family touched by special needs as they maneuver through the perpetual shifts characteristic to military life.

Department of Defense educational activity. The DoDEA is charged with providing high-quality education for military-connected children domestically and overseas. Explore this website at dodea.edu where their mission of educating, engaging and empowering military-connected students to succeed in a dynamic world is shared. One of only two federally-operated school systems, the DoDEA is responsible for ensuring that all school-aged children of military families receive quality education through coordinating and managing pre-kindergarten through 12th grade education programs on behalf of the Department of Defense (DoD). The DoDEA is globally positioned with 164 accredited schools in 8 districts located in 11 foreign countries, 7 states, Guam and Puerto Rico. DoDEA's schools are divided into three geographic areas to include Europe, the Pacific, and the Americas. All DoDEA schools are currently noted to be 100% accredited and in good standing with their regional accrediting agency. Connecting to the website will provide access to resources and information to a wide variety of audiences, to include military parents and students, as well as military or Department of Defense (DoD) parents and students. In addition to the basics of school enrollment, school calendars, immunization requirements, transportation, student meals, curriculum and graduation requirements, parents can learn about a variety of other education-based services to include: • Special education, which includes early intervention, education and related services, as well as DoDEA overseas-related services through development of intervention services. • Interstate Compact on Educational Opportunity for Military Children, which addresses key educational transitions issues encountered by military families of enrollment, placement, attendance, eligibility, and graduation. • Communications such as parent guides, press releases, and multimedia clips.

the exceptional family member program. The EFMP takes on the task of helping families navigate the medical and educational system, in order to ensure peace of mind about the family mem ber's care (Military OneSource, 11/28/2018). It is mandatory within the Army, Navy, Marines, or Air Force, that a dependent with special needs, whether a spouse or a child, be enrolled in the Exceptional Family Program. Each military service branch, within the Department of Defense, has EFMP resources to connect with, in order to ensure that service members are assigned to duty stations where their military-connected family member can be addressed, particularly relative to specialists that may not be available in all duty stations (NMFA, 12/11/2018). Critical aspects of assignment coordination are provided by EFMP, in order to support the military family in maneuvering the military medical system, as well as provide guidance with specific aspects of the special education system. A quick overview of coordination services provided by EFMP includes (Military One Source, 11/28/2018): • Identification and enrollment of family members with special medical or educational needs. • Discovery of services available at the present or future duty station. the exceptional family member program The EFMP takes on the task of helping families navigate the medical and educational system, in order to ensure peace of mind about the family mem• Support with information, referrals and non-clinical case management to access services. Three avenues of entrance are available to get started on the road toward peace of mind and quality of life that EFMP will afford the personal homefront of each military family (Military One Source, 11/28/2018): • Communicate with local installation's Military and Family Support Center. • Obtain paperwork from the EFMP medical point of contact at the local military treatment facility. • Contact Military OneSource and ask for a referral to a special needs consultant. According to Military OneSource (11/21/2018), Special Needs Consultations can provide guidance across a multitude of circumstances with licensed consultants at the helm. EFMP Resources, Option and Consultations (ROC), provides enhanced support for families with special needs and connect the military-connected family with a wide variety of subject matter expertise in education, the military health care system, TRICARE coverage, state and federal programs and more (Military OneSource, 11/21/2018).

school liason program. School Liaison Program coordinates and assists military parents of schoolaged children with educational opportunities and information to succeed in an academic environment. School Liaison Officers (SLO) represent, inform and assist Commands, coordinates with local school systems and forges partner ship between the military and schools (DODEA, 8/09/18). According to the U.S. Department of Defense Educational Activity (DODEA), the goals of this program and the SLOs are to (8/09/18): • Identify barriers to academic success and develop solutions. • Promote parental involvement and educate local communities and schools regarding the needs of military children. • Develop and coordinate partnerships in education. • Provide parents with the tools they need to overcome obstacles to education that stem from the military lifestyle. Liaison Directories are available within each branch of the military. The DoDEA (8/09/18) provides an overview of the School Liaison Program and a downloadable guide specific to that branch at dodea.edu/Partnership/schoolLiaisonOfficers.cfm

army: Each installation has an active school liason program School Liaison Program coordinates and assists military parents of schoolaged children with educational opportunities and information to succeed in an academic environment. School Liaison Officers (SLO) represent, inform and assist Commands, coordinates with local school systems and forges partnerSchool Liaison Officer program. The Army SLO serves active Army service members, National Guard/Army Reserve/Accessions Commands and geographically dispersed families within a one-hour distance of their installation.

marine corps: School Liaisons (SLs) support transitioning families in obtaining educational information and assistance from local school districts. The role of the USMC SL is noted to be very comprehensive and adapted to the needs of the community at each installation.

navy: A K-12 support to military families through Child and Youth Education Services at all major Navy installations is being implemented for the families of service men and women.

air force: Within the Air Force, each base has a point-of-contact (POC) for local military child education matters. This POC advocates for the educational needs of military children, assists Airmen and families with information and referrals regarding local school districts and other education options to include home schooling, private schools, charter schools, and cyber schools. Additionally, a communication link with inbound or outbound family members for educational issues is ensured.

coast guard: Family Resource Specialists (FRS) and/or Child Development Service Specialists CDSS) are available at each Health, Safety & Work-Life – Regional Practice to assist Coast Guard service members and their families with school-related issues.

Parents are a vital member of their child's IEP team and other professionals that support their child with special needs. Parents have expert knowledge and understanding of their child that can have a positive impact to solution-focused teams. Connecting with military resources, reaching out to helpful supports, and increasing knowledge about a child's special needs, go a long way toward increasing positive outcomes before, during, and after the transition.