PUZZLES & CAMO SHELLY HUHTANEN

Every Two Years

Mark sensed I was off and reminded me what I already knew. Broden was still the same kiddo as last week. Those tests weren't going to tell me what he was or wasn't.

CARRYING A TUNE: Broden in an exercise session; "As we walked down the hall to Mark's office, Broden started playing the song "Cruel Summer" by Bananarama. Heads started to peak out into the hallway. They smiled, 'It's Broden. We thought we heard music.'"

Mark and I sat on the couch to review the testing results for Broden. Every two years, Tricare requires children with autism to be tested to see if they still have the diagnosis, and to assess if the child still qualifies for ABA (Applied Behavior Analysis) services. We know the drill and we know the results will not surprise us. Everyone in the room knows that autism has not miraculously evaporated from his body, and although we question Tricare's numerous and at times, outlandish hurdles, Mark and I still sift through paperwork and make psychologist appointments. The paperwork and appointments are what stand between Broden and the therapy he needs, so there's no hesitation.

It doesn't seem to matter how many times we go through this process. We try to prepare ourselves emotionally, "We're checking the block. It doesn't change anything." That doesn't seem to matter. I end up feeling like a wound is reopened, and I'm sitting on the couch facing the psychologist slowly hemorrhaging. It's not the psychologist's fault. They're doing their job, and I can tell by the way they spoke with us last week that they are aware this is not our first rodeo. "Broden is still severe. These tests do not truly show what he's capable of, but by the ways of measurement we have to utilize, cognitively he is around three years

old." I gave her a blank stare, then responded, "Yea, but that's not true. He knows what's going on." The psychologist nodded in agreement and could sense my frustration. We quickly agreed that it was best for Broden to continue services, and the paperwork would be submitted to Tricare to continue care.

For a few days, I was in a funk. I'm not sure why. Broden was diagnosed with autism over 15 years ago. This is not a shock or a surprise. Honestly, I was telling myself to get over it and stop moping around. You'd think it was the year 2008 all over again. Mark sensed I was off and reminded me what I already